The headline? Victoria Silvstedt demonstrates a fail-safe way to look slim on holiday as she shares beach with larger lady in St. Barts. This should give you some idea as to how abysmal the non-story is, even if (as I did) you have no idea who Victoria Silvstedt is. Just so you know, she is a former Playboy playmate.
So, the story is thus: Somebody you've (hopefully) never heard of had a picture taken by paparazzi with a FAT PERSON (how dare they?) in the background. It's OK though, she's young, thin, rich, knows her place, has nice tits and is in a bikini.
I would satirise this article in order to make a point about the Mail being the 'Uncle Sweatyhands' of the tabloid media, but really, when they give us such lines as '[l]ast time she was seen wearing the skimpy two-piece during her holiday in St Bart's the Swedish model struggled to maintain her modesty as she splashed around in the ocean', what's the point?
We're also treated to beauties such as:
- The former Playboy playmate, who has developed a golden tan during her holiday, also wore a cowgirl-style brown hat and sunglasses as she enjoyed the sea.
- [U]nlike her previous encounter with the ocean, when she was apprehensive about going into the water because of the waves, Victoria appeared to have lost her inhibitions.
- Victoria [...] has clearly has been enjoying her time there.
You can almost hear the desperate fwapping of a thousand middle-aged, bigoted cocks now, can't you?
The picture captions were just as bad, if not worse:
- How to look good (nearly) naked: Victoria Silvstedt shows off her slim figure by standing next to a larger lady on the beach
- Keep your hat on: The Swedish model, who is holidaying with her long-term boyfriend, added cowgirl-style headgear to her skimpy beach ensemble
- Strike a pose: Victoria couldn't help showing off her model figure while Maurice took holiday snaps on his phone
I'm not even going to anger myself by talking about how disgusting, chauvinistic, hypocritical or desperate the Mail comes across with this non-story. It's just not worth it - I would hope that it would be plain for all to see.