Showing posts with label Barefoot and Pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Barefoot and Pregnant. Show all posts

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Who'd believe me?

Trigger warning: rape, sexual violence, victim blaming.

Last night I went to a gig. I had a few pints, and I probably danced like a bit of a tit, as I sometimes am inclined to do. I got talking to some people about bands we like, and accepted an invite to go to theirs for a beer. Upon arrival, they (cis men, for the record) got a bit sleazy with me, so I left. Nothing harmful happened (I was pissed off, but whatever).

But let's imagine something did happen. Suddenly, not only would my life be upside-down, what could I do about it? Would I report it? Honestly, no.

If something had happened, and I said something publicly, people would be queueing up to tell me it was my own damn fault. I was drunk. I went to a strange man's house. I was wearing a minidress and leggings. It was late. What did I damn well think was going to happen? Actually, I thought we were going to go listen to some punk music and talk about it while drinking beer. Notice how that previous sentence does not contain the phrase 'have sex'.

I'm not a man-hating feminazi, primarily because such a thing doesn't exist, but also because I'm mates with a lot of guys. So before anyone jumps in with accusations of 'misandry' (also a thing which does not exist, by the way), consider this - I want to hang out with guys. I want to be friends with guys. I want to have sex with guys. I just also want to be assured that if one of those people rapes or sexually assaults me, I won't be blamed just for being in the same vicinity as him while not being a cis-man. What actually IS misandric is the suggestion that no one should be friends with men in case they rape them.

Did you know one third of the UK's population would have said it was my fault if I'd been raped last night? Thirty fucking percent of people think that if a woman touches alcohol, she's declaring open-season on her genitals.

FUCK THAT SHIT.

Why am I telling you all this anyway? Well, last night, a hashtag got going on Twitter, titled #ididnotreport. This was inspired by the Mumsnet 'We Believe You' campaign, designed to highlight the hidden problem of rape and sexual assault. On it, thousands of people - men and women told their personal stories of why they didn't report their rape or sexual assault. And it's because of this VICTIM BLAMING BULLSHIT. Some trolls got on the tag, including a confessed rapist by the name of @NiceGuyBrianG (SERIOUS TW for that link), who thinks that the law on spousal rape shouldn't just be reverted, but should apply to anyone in any kind of relationship. Presumably only women should be allowed to be raped, because if I took him back to mine and tried to assfuck him with a strap-on, I'm sure he'd have some quite loud opinions.

I REPEAT, FUCK THAT SHIT.

It is NOT your fault if you are raped. No ifs, no buts. It is only a rapist who decides to rape people. It is NEVER A VICTIM'S FAULT. And I want you all to know that and shout it with me.

Rape apologists, I'm going to give you a quick lesson in human interaction, because you sorely need it: YOU ARE NOT OWED SEX. NO ONE OWES YOU ACCESS TO THEIR BODY. PERIOD.

"But Nat, what if [insert convoluted scenario, possibly involving drink, usually espousing just how darned confusing this whole 'consent' thing is]??!?!?!"

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE, ASK THEM. POLITELY. IN FACT, IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE POLITE. "WANNA FUCK?" WILL USUALLY SUFFICE. IN SOME CASES IT WILL NOT.

IF YOU ARE UNSURE WHETHER SOMEONE ACTUALLY WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHETHER IT'S BECAUSE OF DRINK OR YOU PRESSURING THEM OR WHATEVER, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT PERSON.

THE EASIEST WAY TO AVOID BEING ACCUSED OF RAPE IS TO NOT HAVE SEX THAT MAY BE RAPE.

UNLESS YOU ARE 100% ABSOLUTELY IRON-CLAD CERTAIN A PERSON WANTS TO HAVE SEXUAL CONTACT WITH YOU, DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL CONTACT WITH THEM.

I genuinely can't make that any clearer. If you wish to comment with a wonderful scenario of your concoction about just how gosh-damn tricky it is to not stick your penis in people, I suggest you take your scenario and shove it up your rape-apologising backside. Here's some (long but awesome) posts on consent:


And if anyone feels the need to talk to someone about something that happened to them, here are the details for Rape Crisis (women and children), Pandora's Project (trans* people) and Survivors UK (men).

Friday, 10 February 2012

The Pill: Destroying civilisation since 1957

Disclaimer: Since the piece I am responding to is very cissexist and holds up notions of 'uterus holder = mother, sperm-giver = father', I will address it in these terms. It's stupid and wrong though, like the rest of the piece.


I read a lot of people saying really, really daft things on the internet. But sometimes something is just so utterly bizarre that it surprises even me. Step forward Michael Brennan Dougherty and Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry, who have co-authored a piece titled Time To Admit It: The Church Has Always Been Right On Birth Control. I'm going to go through it with my trusty red pen, because you really have to see this in its entirety. While reading, please bear in mind that MBD is a politics editor and P-EG is a senior research analyst (i.e. in theory, very intelligent and not wild-eyed conspiracy-peddlers). So, here we go. From hereon, my words are in red, theirs are in black. No links or words have been changed.

Painting the Catholic Church as "out of touch" is like shooting fish in a barrel, what with the funny hats and gilded churches and systemic coverups of rape, child abuse and paedophilia. And nothing makes it easier than the Church's stance against contraception. And the other stuff.

Many people, (including our editor) are wondering why the Catholic Church doesn't just ditch this requirement. They note that most Catholics ignore it (actually a whopping 98%), and that most everyone else finds it divisive, or "out-dated." C'mon! It's the 21st century, they say! Don't they SEE that it's STUPID, they scream. PERHAPS BECAUSE IT IS STUPID?

Here's the thing, though: the Catholic Church is the world's biggest and oldest organization. It has buried all of the greatest empires known to man, from the Romans to the Soviets (either they kept that damn quiet or it didn't happen. Given these guys' extremely tenuous grasp of history, my money is on the latter). It has establishments literally all over the world, touching every area of human endeavor. It's given us some of the world's greatest thinkers, from Saint Augustine on down to RenĂ© Girard. ALL GREAT THINKERS EVER HAVE BEEN CATHOLIC. THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS THE ISLAMIC GOLDEN AGE. SOCRATES WAS A CATHOLIC. ARISTOTLE WAS A CATHOLIC. IN FACT, UNTIL CATHOLICISM EVERYONE LIVED IN CAVES AND SHAT WHEREVER THEY FELT LIKE. (NB, I'm not saying there haven't been great Catholic thinkers (or at least, great thinkers who lived in times and places where it was dangerous to not be a Catholic), but let's not pretend they're the only ones by a long stretch of the imagination, or that all Catholics are good - as far as I'm aware, Professor Steven Hawking is not a Catholic, but Robert Mugabe is. Just saying, y'know? Shades of grey and all that) When it does things, it usually has a good reason. Profit? Domination? More people in their club than in the other clubs? Everyone has a right to disagree, but it's not that they're a bunch of crazy old white dudes who are stuck in the Middle Ages. Except when they are a bunch of crazy old white dudes who are stuck in the Middle Ages. 

So, what's going on? The Church teaches that love, marriage, sex, and procreation are all things that belong together. That's it. But it's pretty important. I drew a diagram to illustrate my problems with these ideas. Here it is:



And though the Church has been teaching this for 2,000 years, it's probably never been as salient as today.
Today's injunctions against birth control were re-affirmed in a 1968 document by Pope Paul VI called Humanae Vitae.  He warned of four results if the widespread use of contraceptives was accepted:

  1. General lowering of moral standards
  2. A rise in infidelity and illegitimacy
  3. The reduction of women to objects used to satisfy men
  4. Government coercion in reproductive matters 


Does that sound familiar? Because it sure sounds like what's been happening for the past 40 years. As George Akerloff wrote in Slate over a decade ago, by making the birth of the child the physical choice of the mother, the sexual revolution has made marriage and child support a social choice of the father. Instead of two parents being responsible for the children they conceive, an expectation that was held up by social norms and by the law, we now take it for granted that neither parent is necessarily responsible for their children. Men are now considered to be fulfilling their duties merely by paying court-ordered child-support. That's a pretty dramatic lowering of standards for "fatherhood." Things that did not happen before these slutty women got their harlot-mitts on the pill: Sex outside of marriage. Children outside of marriage. Absent fathers. Absent mothers. Parents splitting up. What I find interesting about this though, is the quote they pick from Slate. Because what they are actually saying is that "if we DON'T give a woman a physical choice about whether or not she has a child, a man will have to stick around". They DON'T WANT WOMEN TO HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CHOICE IN WHETHER SHE HAS A CHILD. Excuse me while I go vomit my uterus out. 

How else are we doing since this great sexual revolution? Kim Kardashian's marriage lasted 72 days. I'm confused. A minute ago they were all about the hetero-marriage. Now divorce is caused by IUDs? PLEASE TELL ME HOW CONTRACEPTIVES SPLIT UP KIM KARDASHIAN'S MARRIAGE, HEAT MAGAZINE MIGHT SEND ME A T-SHIRT FOR A WORLD EXCLUSIVE. Illegitimacy: way up. In 1960, 5.3% of all births in America were to unmarried women. By 2010, it was 40.8% [PDF]. In 1960 married families made up almost three-quarters of all households; but by the census of 2010 they accounted for just 48 percent of them. Cohabitation has increased tenfold since 1960. Gosh dammit, these sluts are so slutty with their coils and their implants and their live-in partners that they're having children with. How absolutely dare they use contraception to be slutty and have illegitimate children all over the place with their (usually) monogamous partners. Doesn't it make you sick? And of course, we never had any illegitimate children before 1970, heavens no.

And if you don't think women are being reduced to objects to satisfy men, welcome to the internet, how long have you been here? Since the early 80s! Not me personally, of course, but... you know. Anyway, I'll add 'objectification of women' to my list of 'things which did not occur before 1970'. 

Government coercion: just look to China (or America, where a government rule on contraception coverage is the reason why we're talking about this right now). Contraception means that the government can coerce reproductive rights! Let's get the government to ban contraception in order to stop that happening! 

Is this all due to the Pill? Of course not. But the idea that widely-available contraception hasn't led to dramatic societal change, or that this change has been exclusively to the good, is a much sillier notion than anything the Catholic Church teaches. Dramatic societal change like not punishing women for having sex like the filthy beasts that they are. Nope, we've truly regressed now. We were so enlightened when we used to force women in to Magdalene asylums! By the way, the Catholic church teaches that the same stuff that makes Flying Saucer sweets turns into bits of human flesh once you say the right words over it and that all babies are evil when they're born because of talking snakes. Which I happen to think is a much sillier notion than "I think it is nice that people can partake in consensual sex without fear and I don't think that this has brought about society's downfall".

So is the notion that it's just OBVIOUSLY SILLY to get your moral cues from a venerable faith (as opposed to what? Britney Spears?). LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! Sorry, but what? I don't believe in Jesus so I'll just phone up Justin Beiber and ask his opinion on whether or not it's OK to steal, shall I? Then I'll email Jedward and ask what I should do if someone covets my ass. It's true, this is what atheists do ALL THE TIME. When I was growing up, instead of going to Sunday school to learn how to be a good person, I just read Smash Hits and watched MTV. And I grew up to know that it's wrong to rape people and abuse children. Britney Spears 1, Catholic Church 0. 

But let's turn to another aspect of this. The reason our editor thinks Catholics shouldn't be fruitful and multiply doesn't hold up, either. The world's population, he writes, is on an "unsustainable" growth path. The Population Bureau of the Department of Economic and Social Affairs of the United Nations sees (PDF, h/t Pax Dickinson) the rate of population growth slowing over the next decades and stabilizing around 9 billion in 2050…and holding there until 2300. (And note that the UN, which promotes birth control and abortions around the world, isn't exactly in the be-fruitful-and-multiply camp.) More broadly, the Malthusian view of population growth has been resilient despite having been proven wrong time and time again and causing lots of unnecessary human suffering. For example, China is headed for a demographic crunch and social dislocation due to its misguided one-child policy. I'm too lazy to take these figures apart (if anyone wants to in comments, please be my guest) but seriously. We have around 7bn people on Earth. This is up from 6bn in just over ten years. Millions of people are starving. There is no room. We are running out of natural resources. Even 2bn more people is a really, really bad idea.

Human progress is people. Everything that makes life better, from democracy to the economy to the internet to penicillin was either discovered and built by people (as opposed to those damn freeloading non-people). More people means more progress, more war, more famine, more disease, more every other bad thing too! The inventor of the cure for cancer might be someone's fourth child that they decided not to have. Or the baby someone didn't have because they were pregnant with another child. Or didn't have sex while they were ovulating. Or died from starvation as a child because there were too many humans to feed. Or were birthing more damn babies instead of in a laboratory. This game is fun!

So, just to sum up:
  • It's a good idea for people to be fruitful and multiply; and
  • Regardless of how you feel about the Church's stance on birth control, it's proven pretty prophetic. Sorry guys, but:  


So, there you have it. Before 1970 everyone got married as virgins, stayed married their whole lives and had lots of babies. Nothing bad ever came of this, and there were absolutely no deviations from this formula ever. Like, say, prostitutes in the Bible or anything like that. I'll finish with this:

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

A cut-out-and-keep guide to feminism for Louise Mensch

CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY AT FORTY SHADES OF GREY TOWERS!!!


Normally I would roll my eyes at this non-linear procession of time as it would mean I have to put up with more people blathering about fairy lights and bows and other things I generally make it a rule not to give the tiniest atom of a flying fuck about. I mean, I'd welcome the general proliferation of hot booze (an essential part of any balanced diet), but it would also have to be balanced against the chance of snow and ice and hearing a Mariah Carey song and seriously, fuck that shit. Anyway, I digress. There has, to my knowledge, been neither a forwards nor backwards temporal shift. But I have a present! 


Oh... it's the non-festive equivalent of a shit in a box hastily wrapped in the Daily Star - it's Louise Mensch writing about how she totes is a feminist no matter what the mean feminists say.


Now, I generally make it a rule to not posit myself as the Queen Of Feminism and dictate who may, or may not label themselves as what. I mean, there's plenty of feminists I disagree with and who I would quite like to give a quick whisper to in order to steer them in the right path. But in this case I am going to make an exception, channel my inner Inigo Montoya and say:


"Louise - I do not think that word means what you think it means."


I'm going to take out my trusty red pen now and fisk Mensch's article, in order to illustrate why I feel this to be the case.


Until further notice, text in black will be Mensch's piece, text in red mine. All links and wording in Mensch's piece as they appear. Continue at your peril.


Tory women bring feminism out of the ghetto
WOAH HOLD ON. The fucking ghetto?! I'm not sure if Mensch wrote this or if it was one of those pesky subs, but misappropriation of oppression much? This does not bode well.

The latest ICM poll is good news for the blues. David Cameron enjoys a five-point lead over Labour at a time when it should be miles ahead, opposing a coalition government that has to make drastic spending cuts and keep our heads above water as Europe threatens financial implosion. Faced with these conditions, Mr (red rosette) Potato Head ought to manage a substantial lead in mid-term polling. That's... lovely Louise. I'm really glad you got a party brag into this piece (although I suspect maaaany more to come from the woman who hailed the deposition of Colonel Gaddafi as a 'genuine triumph for David Cameron'). There's a part of me concerned about how she refuses to even name the Leader of the (Bloody Joke of an) Opposition - instead dehumanising him and making fun of his appearance. I would think that a self-styled superfeminist such as Mensch would realise that judging people based on their physical appearance is actually a really nasty thing to do and that patriarchal expectations of female beauty are one of the main things used to keep women down - just look at the way the BBC have gotten rid of talented female presenters because they are considered 'too old' and 'not attractive' enough to be taken seriously. NOT COOL MENSCH. WE DO NOT USE SYSTEMS OF OPPRESSION TO SNEER AT OTHERS. IT JUST CONTINUES THEM BEING USED AGAINST US.
Details of the poll will be particularly concerning to the two Eds: Labour is nine points behind in the Midlands (good for me, in Corby). The Tories are also nine points clear with men and have a two-point lead among women. Translation: More women hate Tories than men do but it's not as bad as Labour so yah boo sucks! 
This last number is particularly cheering. For some time now the Labour party, led by Yvette Cooper, has made a sustained pitch to British women that the government is not on their side. They draw out selective research on the cuts and say it will particularly hurt women. They take Cameron's joking remark – "calm down dear", which ripped off a Michael Winner TV ad – and offer it as an example of sexism. They drop gender into every intervention and speech and have tried to claim feminism as their own, a thing of the left. This marks the first point where I lose my shit. Right. First up: the cuts FUCKING DO HURT WOMEN. Cutting corporation tax redistributes money from women to men. Cutting public sector jobs and freezing their pay hurts women. In-work conditionality hurts women. Stopping victims of intimate partner violence being eligible for legal aid hurts women. YOUR GOVERNMENT NOT JUST HURTS, BUT FUCKING KILLS WOMEN. Second up: patronising women and implying that they are too 'hysterical' to do their damn job is sexist. When I see Cameron smirking around men and making the same implications as he does to women, I will believe that he's actually just a giant scumfuck and not a giant misogynist scumfuck. Thirdly up: when you're oppressed in every part of society, you tend to see it in every part of society. Mainly because... well it's there. No, it might not be for Mensch, but it fucking is for the rest of us. If she had any idea what it was like to not be an over-privileged rich person, she might realise this, but no. She's toeing the party line as per usual and sticking her head, ostrich-like, in whatever stuff it is rich people would use instead of sand. Fourthly up: I'm not saying feminism is a thing of the left, solely, but I am saying there is no damn such thing as a feminism where you only help yourself - which is all Tory 'feminism' is.
Tory women aren't having it. A grassroots backbench movement of women MPs (with several sound male feminists who have our backs) determined that we would not give Labour the monopoly on women's issues. We sit behind a frontbench that we know to be relentlessly focused on social justice and women's issues. Who ARE these Tory grassroots backbench women? Who ARE these Tory male feminists? What do they DO? How is your front bench in ANY FUCKING WAY committed to social justice or women's issues? I mean REALLY. FUCK THIS. Look at the damn links above to see how damn committed this bunch are to 'women's issues'. Unless they actually think that what women are concerned about is "Oh, I just DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL GET BEATEN TO DEATH OR STARVE TODAY". I demand to see evidence of this 'movement'.
Tory feminism is holistic, not the ghetto feminism of the impact equalities assessment; it looks at women as a whole. Case in point: 80% of the lowest paid public sector workers exempt from the pay freeze are women. Changes to the state pension that will end penalties for women who take career breaks to care for their families are being put forward. Sustainable funding cycles for rape crisis centres and victim support have been proposed. Theresa May broke ground on flexible parental leave, thus helping to ensure that employers would no longer look askance at women of childbearing age (remember Labour peer Lord Sugar's remarks on pregnant employees?). The list goes on. Fucking 'ghetto feminism'? Does Mensch seriously think that we should be focusing less attention on women who are the most oppressed and more attention on women who are the least? Another thing - pointing out that 80% of the lowest paid public sector workers are women is a) admitting the need for feminism in the first damn place, b) admitting that there's a huge problem with women being underpaid, c) showing us which gender is seen as the more 'disposable' employee. Also, 'sustainable funding...for rape crisis centres'? Damn, if I wasn't so sure Mensch had private healthcare I'd ask for the number of her GP so I could get whatever she has. Because it ain't looking so damn rosy from where I'm sat. Also, when you read the part about women of childbearing age I'd like you to imagine the 'wrong answer' klaxon from Family Fortunes. It sounds like this. Because this became illegal way back in 1975 under the Labour government. Sorry Louise, you won't win the speedboat at this rate. (I will concede that Alan Sugar is a sexist arsehole, but would like to point out that he doesn't represent the whole party and even a clock as stopped as Mensch may be right once in a while. DAMMIT. This makes it sound like I'm defending Labour. Just to make it clear: I would never do that. I just dislike lies.)
Last week, Ed Balls capitulated and accepted the need for Tory cuts. The Conservatives' growing lead on economic credibility resonates with women, too. As mortgage holders – 70% of all women work outside the home – they benefit from George Osborne's low interest rates. They relate to restraint on council tax, a regressive tax that hits pensioners and those on fixed incomes hardest. Well hot-damn, this is an interesting use of statistics. Now, I do not work outside 'the home'. This is mainly because I don't have a 'home', per se. Or a 'job', per se. I am one of those poor unfortunate ONE MILLION young people who are on the dole. Anyway, I used to work outside 'the home'. However, I did not have a mortgage. My sister works outside 'the home'. She does not have a mortgage. In fact, of all my friends who have jobs, I can count a teeny-tiny number (one, off the top of my head) who have mortgages. So that's not 70% of women benefitting. That's 70% of women have jobs and if they happen to have been in a fortunate position and single quite a few years ago now they might have a mortgage. Also, since when did only women benefit from cheap interest rates caused by the fact that everyone is fucking skint instituted by our beloved Gideon? And, if I must say this again I will damn well scream it from the rooftops: WOMEN SUFFER MORE WHEN SERVICES ARE CUT WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU REDUCE THINGS LIKE COUNCIL TAX AND ONE WAY TO STOP THIS WOULD ACTUALLY BE TO TAX RICH PEOPLE MORE NOT FUCK POOR PEOPLE OVER. 
When speaking of the deficit, in magazines or on the airwaves, Tory feminists use the language of other women – the debt we pass on to our children, and our duty to lift that burden off their backs. The more we shift away from the bad old days of economic dependence on a wage-earning man, the more women notice the tax-and-spend policies that affect all wage earners. Well, not my language. I don't have children. In fact, around 20% of women choose to remain child-free - which is around 5.8 million women the Tories aren't speaking for. And, forgive my mistake, but surely having children isn't just something women spontaneously do? MEN ARE PARENTS TOO. See, this shit is Feminism 101 - PARENTHOOD IS NOT JUST FOR THE BEARER OF THE UTERUS. Also, I'm sure children would prefer to have an alive mother and more 'deficit' when they grow up rather than a mother who got beaten to death in front of them because she couldn't get a restraining order because she couldn't get legal aid. Just saying, like.
Most Conservatives would define feminism as supporting equal rights and opportunities for women. In that sense it is a movement of women, not of right or left. But I like to think that, somewhere at the margins of all this, the noisy reclamation of the feminist label from the left is having an impact. The problem is though, as I am nearly bashing my head against the keyboard while I am saying this a-fucking-gain - Tories do NOT support equal rights and opportunities for women. What they support is 'well us women are fine, I really don't know what the rest of you are fussing about!'. LOOK AT THE GODDAMN LINKS ABOVE. So, by her own definition, Mensch IS NOT a feminist.
Conservative women are having a moment: Gaby Hinsliff's wonderful Observer cover story was the culmination of months of Tory feminists advancing our case whenever a media opportunity arose. Last December, Jane Ellison launched an all-party parliamentary group on female genital mutilation. Claire Perry works on opt-in options for internet porn. Amber Rudd MP, who is pro-choice, looks at alternate ways to combat teenage pregnancy. I stood up on anonymity for rape suspects and wound up debating with a feminist hero of mine, Naomi Wolf, on Newsnight. I also debated Tory feminism with Labour's Stella Creasy MP on Radio 4's Woman's Hour – a chance to explode the myth that "Tory" and "feminist" are oxymoronic to millions of women. And I just chopped my own damn arm off, but it's totally cool because I have this sticking plaster I had to make myself out of reused gaffer tape and an old tissue BECAUSE OF TORY CUTS AFFECTING WOMEN SO BADLY.
As a Tory feminist, you want to play in front of Labour's goal, advancing the case for social justice, welfare reform and Iain Duncan Smith's universal credit (which should lift a million people and 350,000 children out of poverty). Yes, we anticipate the colourful comments under our articles, but that doesn't matter. Tory feminists are looking for your support, looking to convert you. I am an MP today only because in his very first speech as leader, David Cameron – the most feminist leader the Conservative party has ever had – made it his business to challenge dinosaur attitudes that led us to a 91% white male parliamentary party. His work in opposition continues in government. I'm actually bored of dissecting this horseshit now, so, here we go. 1. Party pointscoring. 2. Child poverty is predicted to increase under the universal credit scheme. 3. David Cameron is also the most 'likely to have grown up in the 70's' leader the Tories ever had. That does not make him John Travolta. 4. I couldn't give two glittery unicorn shits if the Tory party was 100% female, because it would mean 306 Louise Mensches and my poor laptop could not cope with the stress of debunking this tripe that many times.
While we all expect that this poll lead won't last, the fact that we have recovered our ground with women is immensely comforting this far out from a general election. After all, the Tories have never won without women – and never will. 
Fucking feminism, how does it work?

Back to me in black text now.


OH MY HOLY MOTHER OF AVIMIMUS, WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF? 

I shouldn't be surprised, ever. I've spoken to Louise Mensch once or twice on Twitter, and every damn time she's insisted she absolutely is a feminist, but when challenged on what she actually does to stop women being oppressed, or told how her party is oppressing women, she clams up. Funny that. So now, for her benefit - as I'm sure she actually would like to be a feminist, she's just not sure of the first things about it, I am going to put my Queen Feminist crown on (it's red leopard-print and decorated with the bollocks of men I have emasculated) and write up a quick cut-out-and-keep one do and five don'ts of being a feminist.

DO
  1. Commit to fostering equality for all women
   
DON'T
  1. Insist that because you're not oppressed, no woman ever is
  2. Think that all women are (or are even capable of being) mothers, and this is all they want/are good for
  3. Shut down services essential to women's livelihood, safety, economic power or wellbeing
  4. Insist that other women are too stupid to know what to do with their own bodies
  5. Write facile articles that purport to be about feminism that are actually just party-political broadcasts, cheap jibes about the opposition and actually fuck-all to do with any feminism ever


I hope this helps.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Saving the Daily Mail some time

I've realised the danger of dying horrifically and tragically for some time now. However, aside from the actual, y'know, dying part, there is a secondary danger: the Mail might write about you. Even worse, they might write about you to make a point about your lifestyle.

So here's the Daily Mail column that I imagine will be written about me, in the event of my demise. 


FRANKLY, WE'RE SURPRISED IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER



      Ever since barmaid Natalie Dzerins was found gnawed to death by a hoarde of escaped, stampeding chinchillas last week, we have been digging up dirt about her in order to tie her death in with one (or more) of our sickening agendas trying to rationalise why such a thing would happen to a young girl in the prime of her life.     


Some may say she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, but what we really must ask ourselves is how we can turn this series of events around to sell more newspapers to idiots if it really wasn't the fault of her lifestyle?     


Not a normal young woman: Chinchilla victim, Natalie Dzerins   


   As I approach the house that Natalie shared with a man who was not her husband or boyfriend, but instead a "housemate", I am struck by the bleakness of her surroundings, living as she did in a rented back-to-back terraced house instead of a decent house that we could have property porn wanks over.   


   Entering the house, I am greeted straight away by what she, in her poverty-stricken Northern way would term 'the living room'. As a self-described 'feminist', Natalie had made no attempt to make this into a nice home to raise children in. The furniture is mismatched, and the divide to the kitchen is merely a breakfast bar. Copies of the Guardian lie in a pile for recycling near a pair of Doc Martens, showing how truly warped this young woman's mind was before her demise.     


Not a place for children: Natalie's squalid living room shows her unbalanced state of mind.  


    I am also saddened by the text books that lie on the sofa. There are no magazines like Hello or Grazia anywhere, to indicate that Natalie may have sought better for herself, but instead they are replaced by books with titles like "Contract Law: Cases and Materials" and "What's Wrong With Feminism Today?". I can only imagine that Natalie was lying to herself  by not getting married and raising a family before her death. These are not the reading materials of a normal young woman.    


  I venture up the stairs to nosy around investigate Natalie's mind further, by looking at her bedroom. I am met by a horrifying sight. Not only did Natalie insist on having a bookcase in her bedroom, it was also filled with more disturbing examples of literature like the ones I found downstairs. The precious few examples of fiction I am able to find are not, like one would expect, normal novels by the likes of Louise Bagshawe, but instead appear to be examples of the new trend of 'science fiction' and 'fantasy' books. If only she had found a man to tear her away from such follies, I am sure she would still be alive now.     


Glancing over her DVD collection, I am struck by the same sadness. This was not a sane young woman. Instead of trying to rectify her sad, childless existence by watching proper films for young women, she instead spent her time watching left-wing BBC programmes like 'Blackadder' and 'Doctor Who', when she was not watching films with violence in. Perhaps the violent manner of her death may be explained by this obsession of hers.     


Sickening: Natalie's bizzare taste in DVDs may explain her death    


Her wardrobe is even more disturbing. Natalie owned no clothes from Chanel or Versace. There is not even a Helmut Lang shirt. Rifling through her drawers, I do not even find a respectable Marks and Spencer's bra. This young woman's death must have been full of sadness at the realisation that she had not fulfilled her true potential.     


I go back downstairs to leave, full now of understanding at the real cause of this young woman's demise. Before I leave, I decide to check Natalie's fridge and her computer in order to gain better understanding of what mistakes young girls make which lead to them being eaten by chinchillas.     


As I expected, Natalie's fridge is almost bare. She had no husband or children to cook lovingly for. I am immensely disturbed to discover that Natalie was a vegetarian, a sickening and selfish practice which is known to cause cancer in anyone contemplating it (see health pages). I silently say thank you to God for taking Natalie in the way he did before she had chance to get ill and waste taxpayer's money, as she clearly had no BUPA plan.     


Finally, I turn on her computer. I notice immediately that she listens to whatever music we're linking with violent crime this week. She also has music by known homosexuals on her computer. Again, I thank God for taking her before she got AIDS or cancer caused by such a debauched mindset.     


Natalie had 264 'friends' on Facebook, but no husband to protect her from chinchillas. I weep at this. Her dangerous lunacy prevented her from acquiring the one thing that would have made her truly happy.     


As I leave Bradford, I see a couple with children leaving church who, rather poignantly, are not being eaten by chinchillas. Perhaps this is a lesson Natalie could have learned which would mean she would still be alive today.

 EDIT: I am now doing more of these at Daily Mail Death Articles, where you can request your own in the Daily Mail writer of your choice!

Friday, 28 January 2011

Hyperbolic lies.

(N.B. This post was originally to be titled "Everything Tom Utley says is wrong and he deserves to be torn limb from limb by dwarf hamsters". Apparently that's too long, so just bear in mind that's what I'm calling it in my head.)

As you may or may not recall, the other day, the Mail printed an utterly charming and in-no-way-fallacious story about a recent (very narrow and long overdue) ruling by the Supreme Court entitled "Shout at your spouse and risk losing your home: It's just the same as domestic violence, warns woman judge". I covered it here.

Today, Tom Utley, esteemed Mail columnist, offered his delightful take on it. It's titled "Like every weedy husband, I don't shout - I sulk. But how long before a judge says that's domestic violence?". There are not enough faces, and not enough palms, in the entire world to adequately express my feelings upon reading that headline. It is like the complete zenith in the era of facepalmery. It's like a million monkeys did a million facepalms and then were given a typewriter and came out with that headline. Or something.

Anyway, dangerously overstretched similies aside, all this article does is to propagate the same hyperbolic lies that were made in the original article.

It is too shockingly bad to be dealt with adequatley by picking quotes out, so I will post the whole article here, with my comments in red.



"My wife and I have dear friends whose marriage has been one long shouting match since the day they went to the altar some 30 years ago.

The slightest thing sets them off, screaming blue murder at each other, whether it’s a mislaid corkscrew (‘where the hell did you put it this time, you stupid woman?’) or a dispute over who should make the tea (‘won’t you ever get off your fat a*** and do something yourself for once, you insufferable man?’). Sounds... charming Tom. Not really anything to do with the case in point though, is it? Given that they shout at each other equally.

I well remember one occasion when the four of us arrived late for a wedding in the country. With no time to book into the hotel where we were to stay, we had to change into our finery in the church hall, where catering staff and other guests were milling about.

He started the fight this time, letting out a mighty roar that made everyone stand stock-still and look round: ‘You’ve forgotten to pack my tie, you bloody idiot!’

Matching him decibel for decibel, and completely unselfconscious among all those strangers, his wife gave him her reflections on whose responsibility it was to pack his own ruddy tie. 


Warming to her theme, she touched upon other failings she’d identified in his ­character, appearance and conduct over the years, a pretty comprehensive list, while he answered in a similar vein about hers.

To those onlookers who hadn’t met them, they must have sounded like a couple heading straight for the divorce courts. But we had known them long enough to appreciate that this was their way of ­coping with the everyday stresses and strains of marriage, and that it signified nothing whatever to worry about in their relationship. Great. Remind me again what the point of this delightful anecdote was? Since it's absolutely and in no way similar to a person in a relationship undergoing emotional or verbal abuse.

Indeed, I reckon this perpetually warring couple are among the most devoted of my acquaintance, whose union will last long after many more outwardly lovey-dovey spouses have split up. Good for them. Even more reason why it's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE JUDGEMENT IN QUESTION.



In what strikes me as an extraordinary judgment, with worrying implications for the way we’re governed, Lady Hale said the ­meaning of the word 'violence' had moved on since Parliament passed the Act in 1996. Actually Tom, they were discussing whether it had moved on since the Housing (Homeless Persons) Act 1977 (s.1(2)(b)). This Act was consolidated with other housing legislation into the Housing Act 1985 (s.58(3)(b)).When the Housing Act 1996 came into force, it merely transposed the original meaning of the risk of domestic violence (i.e. "violence from a person with whom he is associated, or threats of violence from such a person which are likely to be carried out") to section 177(1) of the 1996 Act.

Anyway, I thought of our friends immediately when I read Wednesday’s ruling by the Supreme Court that men and women who shout at their partners are guilty of domestic violence, and liable to stiff penalties including eviction, while those who get shouted at may have the right to be rehoused at the taxpayers’ expense. We're back to my overstretched primate-based simile here, aren't we Tom? OK. Firstly, it's not about people shouting at their spouse, it's about systemic emotional abuse. That's... just slightly different. Secondly - "liable to stiff penalties including eviction"?! I want you to say these two words after me: STARE DECISIS. I'm going to guess you don't know what they mean, so I'll explain. Stare decisis is one of the most important (and basic) legal principles. It means that like cases should be treated alike. It stops judges just making their own law to suit their own principles (no, really - it does! Not that you'd guess that from most tabloid media.). Now. The case we're discussing here hinged on whether Mrs Yemshaw made herself intentionally homeless under the Housing Act 1996 when she left her husband. That's it. That's all it applies to. Slippery slope arguments are not how the English legal system works.

A panel of five judges, led by Lady Hale, had been hearing the case of Mihret ­Yemshaw, 35, who said that she was a ­victim of domestic violence and, therefore, entitled to a new home under the 1996 Housing Act. Officials in Hounslow, West London, had turned down her claim after hearing that her husband had never hit her, nor even threatened to do so. This is killing me, it really is. She wanted to secure accomodation because her and her two infant children were homeless because of her husband's abuse. She didn't just swan up to the council offices one day because she felt like a change of scenery!

It all came down to the meaning of the word ‘violence’. Yes. It came down to a modern interpretation of the nearly forty-year-old definition of the word 'violence'. Let's just remember it's only twenty years since it was ruled that marital rape was still rape.

Mrs Yemshaw told the court that her husband — a 40-year-old bus driver born, like her, in Ethiopia — had shouted in front of their two children, failed to treat her like a human (whatever that may mean) and hadn’t given her any housekeeping money. She also said she was frightened that he might take the children away from her. Does this amount to violence? Lady Hale thought so. AARGH! OK. 1) So what if they're Ethiopian Tom? So fucking what? 2) I think, apart from you apparently Tom, we can all imagine what "failed to treat her like a human" might entail. 3) Not just Lady Hale, but THREE OTHER OF THE MOST SENIOR JUDGES IN THE COUNTRY. It's not an easy job to get Tom! It's not like you can send off three cereal box lids and join the Supreme Court!

In what strikes me as an extraordinary judgment, with worrying implications for the way we’re governed, she said the ­meaning of the word had moved on since Parliament passed the Act in 1996. *headdesk* SEE ABOVE.

Violence, she said, ‘is capable of bearing several meanings and applying to many different types of behaviour. These can change and develop over time’. Yes, like, for example,the phrase "eligible to vote" has changed and developed over time (as much as you might not like it Tom).

Now, I can imagine that in some relationships — and I exclude my dear friends — it must be pretty miserable to live with a loud-mouthed, domineering partner (although Mrs Yemshaw’s ­husband protests that he ‘never even screamed or swore at her’). He probably would, wouldn't he? Still, I think she's overcome enough legal scrutiny for us to be pretty damned sure he did. Also - it went a bit beyond being "loud-mouthed" and "domineering", didn't it?

So the last thing I want is to make light of it. REALLY?!?!??! But the point is that when our elected representatives passed the Housing Act 1996, they were aware that there are degrees of unpleasant behaviour in a marriage or partnership, ranging from mild carping or nagging, all the way up through shouting and swearing to actual, physical violence. It's like he's not paid attention to anything I've said, isn't it?

They had to decide at which point on that scale of unhappiness the State, in its mercy, would offer victims of ill-treatment the statutory right to a separate home. And since large sums of public money were at stake, they set it high — at the point of ‘violence’ or the credible threat of it. NO! This did not happen at all! You made it up! She doesn't have "the statutory right to a seperate home"! She has the right to be recognised as homeless after she left an abusive partner!

The rot started with the Human Rights Act, ­enforcing in British Courts a European Convention so loosely worded that it offers endless scope for judicial lawmaking on the sly. Excuse me? WHO mentioned the HRA? No one? Thought so.

As Lady Hale seems to accept, they meant physical violence. After all, if Parliament had intended to offer new homes to partners who’d been shouted at or denied housekeeping money, wouldn’t it have said so? *deep breaths* See. Above.

But this argument cuts no ice with m’lady, who has got hold of the curious idea that when a word shifts its meaning, so too does the law. Isn’t this a thoroughly dangerous notion, in a world in which ‘wicked’ is so rapidly coming to mean ‘good’? I'm horribly inclined to believe he's serious here. Please tell me he isn't. And please tell me he didn't just try and use "m'lady" in a patronising moment. Please, please do, because otherwise my head might actually explode.

Mind you, I don’t believe that violence really has changed its meaning in the blink of an eye since 1996. It seems to me that Lady Hale, out of the softness of her heart, simply wishes that Parliament had been more generous with your money and mine when it decided who should and who shouldn’t be rehoused. YOU'RE ON TO HER NOW TOM!

So she and her fellow judges have taken it upon themselves to invent a law, redefining violence to include non-violence. True, I must make an honourable exception for Lord Brown, who voiced ‘profound doubt’ about the majority ruling. Nope, you're completely right. The gays, the judges, the feminists and the muslims got together and decided that MORE MONEY HAD TO BE SPENT. We did this just to piss you off Tom.

But as for the rest, Lewis Carroll put it well in Through The Looking Glass: ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

Or as Lady Hale put it in a similar tone: ‘It is not for government and official ­bodies to interpret the meaning of the words which Parliament has used. That role lies with the courts.’ Or as Tom Utley and the Mail said, "Fuck it, let's just make shit up now, they'll probably buy it". A judge's role in court is to interpret the words of the statute. That IS their job. It's what they're trained to do!

Well, up to a point, m’lady. But in my respectful submission, like so many judges, you’re going far beyond that fuzzy line between interpreting the law and making it up as you go along. Of course, the rot started with the Human Rights Act, ­enforcing in British Courts a European Convention so loosely worded that it offers endless scope for judicial lawmaking on the sly. He. Did. It. Again.

But the judges’ opinion of their role has become even more inflated since the ­inauguration of the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom in 2009.

Flattered by that imported title, they seem to believe they’re as august as the Supreme Court in Washington, which stands at the pinnacle of the U.S. Constitution. EH?

In fact, there are myriad differences. Not least is the intensive congressional, judicial and FBI scrutiny that American judges have to go through — examining and re-examining every aspect of the cases they’ve tried, their politics, business dealings and family lives — before they can be admitted to the highest court in the land.

Here, democracy doesn’t get a look-in —and it’s pot luck whether we get a toughie or a softie, an arch Tory or a staunch Labour supporter. Is this any way to run what is becoming a legislature, in all but name? Unlike in America, where judges are appointed because of their political beliefs, and woe betide those who don't agree.

Oh well, I suppose we’re saddled with Hale’s Law for the foreseeable future — and no doubt there’ll be queues of aggrieved partners, fed up with being shouted at, demanding their right to new homes. Yeah. In fact, even though I'm single and childless, I quite fancy this lark. I'm off to get my free house now.

I can’t help wondering where this will leave my shouty friends, if they ever get sick of each other (which I doubt they will). Each will have a cast-iron case against the other. So who gets to keep the house? Plenty of lucrative work for the lawyers there. If he mentions the eviction myth one more time, I swear I will scream.

As for myself, I have nothing to fear from Hale’s Law, because I’m not much of a shouter (and I’d never dare yell at Mrs U if she failed to pack my tie). Even though she'd deserve it, right?

No. Like so many of my weedier fellow Englishmen, the weapon I prefer to use on the battleground of marriage is good old passive aggression: the martyred look, the sigh, the over-elaborate apology for the most minor offence; the faux-meek ‘Whatever you say, dear’.

I know, I know. It must make me hell to live with. How long before Lady Hale ­classifies me as a violent criminal?"
Unfortunately for you Tom, I've just classified you as criminally facepalmable. Sentence? A GCSE in Law and community service in a domestic violence refuge. You absolute lying twat.




Just because I know you're all masochists when it comes to this, the top rated comment, at midnight on 29/1/11 is on 142 green:

"Actually you would be surprised what they can class as DV in the family courts nowadays and also where children are concerned that old chestnut 'emotional' abuse. Why do you think both men and women have been campaigning to change this 'grey' area into a written explaination of facts, here's a clue, social services can take children into care for little more than the child missing a dental appointment, it 'may' cause the child harm, they argue. The key words in these laws to look out for are 'can' lead to- 'may', lead to, and 'could' lead to. Now I can 'kill' someone, I may 'kill' someone or i 'could' kill someone under these rules, but it doesn't mean i'm 'going' to- am 'likely' too or 'would ' kill someone. The law is an ass, especially when it's open to interpretation by idiots." - michelle, herts, 28/1/2011 3:31



The lowest is on 17 red: 

I think this says it all.

Thursday, 27 January 2011

My response to Giles Coren

Today, Giles Coren has written a shockingly whiny anti-women article at the Mail (I know - an anti-women article at the Mail? SHOCK OF THE CENTURY).

The article is entitled "So why is it all right for women to be sexist about MEN?". It starts off by making a few hyperbolic predictions about what will happen in the aftermath of the Sky Sports sexism fiasco, but quickly descends into "Waaahh! I hate everything with a vagina! All women are lying whores!".

Here it is, with my responses in red.


The two Sky Sports presenters who were caught on tape making disparaging remarks about women earlier this week are a pair of daft old duffers, and no mistake. It is important for me to say that first, before I get to the business in hand. I'd go with something a little bit stronger than 'a pair of daft old duffers' here. 'Nasty, vomit inducing bigots' maybe. Never mind though.

Andy Gray and Richard Keys are a couple of dull, flabby, middle-aged football bores and are just the sort of doddering old clowns you would expect to relax off camera by swapping ancient prejudices and poking fun at women — in this case a female linesman — for not understanding the offside rule. Yep, with you here Giles - but, for the eight zillionth time, the term is ASSISTANT REFEREE. Kudos on not using the utterly reprehensible 'lineswoman' though.

You shouldn’t pass unflattering remarks about women behind their backs because it is not a well brought-up thing to do, and they needed to be told. I would never do it myself. Not because I am a feminist, but because I am a gentleman. What's wrong with being a feminist? Given that in its modern usage, it merely denotes someone who is in favour of equality for men and women? Oh, that's right - there's still the rest of the article to explain why you're not a feminist.

But while Gray has now been sacked, I don’t expect that will be the end of the matter. No, neither do I. I expect we'll have a lot of whinging little issue-laden misogynists writing stupid and hypocritical columns about it.

We will hear an endless shrieking to ‘kick sexism out of football’; a PE teacher will be fired for telling his goalkeeper to ‘stop crying like a girl’; and a hapless League One manager will be deported for describing a fight between players as ‘handbags at dawn’. Uhm. OK. Firstly, what is actually wrong with wanting mainstream football to be less sexist? I'll do you a favour and ignore the use of the word 'shrieking'. The rest of this paragraph is as ludicrous as it is hyperbolic. I highly doubt that even a PE teacher stupid and backwards enough to use such a pathetic phrase would get fired for it - they'd probably just get told to stop being such a moronic 70's throwback. (LOVE the assumption that all PE teachers and goalkeepers are male, by the way). The same goes for the hypothetical manager.

There will be the endless apologies, public soul-searching and self-flagellation. And as usual the rest of us men will be expected to atone as a sex for a couple of remarks by two fat, superannuated fools on the telly, and to grovel for forgiveness with every snivel and cringe of our waking lives. Well, yes. Gray and Keys should issue a proper apology. Not that I'd believe one word of it, but it might force them to realise that they can't live their lives like it were a Benny Hill sketch. I can't see why all men should be expected to atone though, or that they will. Us feminists are a teensy bit more mature than to lump all members of the opposite gender into one stupid stereotype. This might be something you'd like to try yourself.

Not that that’s anything new. To be a man in this country is constantly to have to apologise for oneself and to be ever so very careful about every sentence we speak or write which contains any reference at all to members of the opposite sex. Really? You've failed miserably at this then, given some of the horseshit that you come out with in this article.

While at the same time, and this is the shame of it, we ourselves are fair game for women. While sexism from men is the outstanding social crime of the modern world, women can say absolutely whatever they like about us. Hm. Not sure I'm with you on this one. Mainly because it's the same load of rubbish that always gets trotted out by people who have no arguments left in defence of misogyny.

For make no mistake: sexism is alive and well in this country and applauded in all quarters — as long as it is practised by women. And they are allowed to say the most terrible, terrible things. See above.

Only last week, for example, Jo Brand, the newly crowned Best Female TV Comic at the British Comedy Awards, was on Have I Got News For You and replied to the question ‘What’s your favourite kind of man, Jo?’ by saying: ‘A dead one.’ Oh, how the audience fell about. And the other contestants, all male, chortled away too. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that the reason Jo Brand was crowned Best Female TV Comic is because she's practically the only bloody female comedian allowed on TV.

I’m not saying it wasn’t funny. I’m just saying we live in a world where the thorough-going awfulness, uselessness and superfluity of the male sex is such a given, that a frontline television comic can get big laughs by saying she’d prefer it if we were all dead. Firstly: IT WAS A JOKE. The humour derives from expecting one answer and getting another! Ha-bloody-ha! Secondly: Jo Brand's comedic persona is that of a misandrist, it's hardly fair to compare that to the real life personas of Gray and Keys.

And I’m trying to imagine a world in which I am on that show and they say, ‘What kind of women do you like, Giles?’ and I reply: ‘Dead ones.’ I just don’t think it would get the same laughs, do you? No, probably not. Mainly because I'd be terrified you were serious, given the tone of this article.
A note on misandristic (or should that be msandristic?) humour though - it's usually seen as more acceptable because institutional sexism on the part of women towards men is not and has never been a problem in society, but vice versa is.

Here’s another of Jo Brand’s (excellent) gags. ‘What’s the way to a man’s heart? Straight through the chest with a kitchen knife!’ Again, not unfunny. But predicated on the idea that killing men is hilarious. Whereas killing women, as we all know, is a very serious affair and not to be joked about. See earlier points on Jo Brand's comedic persona, how the humour is derived and misandristic humour please, I'd hate to have to repeat myself.

It’s not just Brand, it’s all women. ‘What do you call the useless flap of skin attached to a penis?’ they joke. ‘A man!’ they all reply, and clink their chardonnay glasses and chortle till dawn. How on earth did this get to be OK? That's some.... really broad stereotyping there. Like, wow. Also, given your earlier point about Gray and Keys relaxing "
off camera by swapping ancient prejudices and poking fun at women", am I to assume that this is what all men do? Because, y'know, every member of a gender must behave exactly alike? 

I'll tell you how. It is because pretty much from birth women are schooled by their mothers to deride men. They are sugar and spice, we are slugs and snails. I'm pretty sure that rhyme has been kicking about for a bit now. My mum didn't teach me to hate or deride men, she taught me to hate and deride idiots, irrespective of gender.

They are reflective and sensitive, while we run around kicking balls and shouting. And then as girls push towards puberty their mothers take them aside and tell them: ‘Boys are only after one thing!’ I think trying to mock gender sterotyping by indulging in gender stereotyping is just a teensy bit flawed, really.

The great lie. All men want is sex. Not so. If anything, it is women who think only of having it off. Girls on average lose their ­virginity much younger than boys and have more sexual partners in youth. OMG THE HORRIBLE GIRLS ARE GETTING LAID!!!! Seriously though, no. It's not true that all men want is sex. It's also not true that all women want is sex (I mean, just a second ago you were talking about how all we think about is being mean to other women - pick a ridiculous stereotype and stick to it please). Girls tend to lose their virginities earlier because they tend to have older boyfriends. So what if girls have more sexual partners? It hardly proves that they "think only of having it off".

As a teenager, I was ­terribly shy about sex and yet girls were trying to do it with me all the time. I used to run, literally run, from their bedrooms when they tried it on. And yet women are allowed endlessly to harangue us with our supposed lechery. Oh boo-fucking-hoo. You didn't want sex as a teenager. So what, this is supposed to prove that all women are lecherous whores?

And the prejudice festers. Harriet Harman says that men caused the banking crisis, and the ­harridan legions nod their heads. ‘If women ruled the world,’ they cry, ‘there would be no wars.’ No, bankers caused the banking crisis. Yes, most bankers happen to be male, and the risk-taking behaviours that caused it are stereotypically male. Given your definition of the "harridan legions" is pretty much "any woman not as misogynistic as I", I'd happily be a proud member - but I don't agree with that.

What nonsense. Women are far meaner, more brutal, aggressive, small-minded, jealous, petty and venal than any man. I'd consider this article to be an excellent example of all these attributes. I'm not even going to waste my time pointing out how utterly pathetic this sentence is. You can't say "we have to apologise for all men but we're not all like that", and then start saying all women possess the same bad characteristics.

If women ruled the world ­countries would be invaded because ‘she’s always been jealous of my feet’ and because ‘she looks down on me for going out to work’.
Yes, because our teeny tiny wee brains can only focus on shoes and personal vendettas. Politics? Best left to the men while we bake cakes and simper at children, we simply couldn't handle it. Yeah, newsflash, dickhead - a lot of countries are governed by women, and have been for some time now. Number of wars started over lipgloss? Zero.

Millions would die, torture would increase. If women ruled the world there would be carnage. See points above about stereotyping whole genders and female leaders.

And what sort of an insult is it anyway to suggest that most women don’t understand the offside rule? It’s true, for a start. Most women don’t. And most of them declare it proudly. It's an insult to suggest that a PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANT REFEREE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE OFFSIDE RULE BECAUSE OF HER GENDER. So what if some women don't? They're not being paid to.

Most of them use football as an example of one of their favourite gags, the one about how men never grow up, about how we’re all just children — most often manifested in the one where a mother-of-two says ‘I’ve got three children’, you raise an eyebrow, and she nods towards her husband. Hilarious. Yes, it's not funny. Hardly excuses Gray and Keys though, does it?

And nor are men, in this female narrative, merely puerile, aggressive and underdeveloped. They are hypochondriacs, too. "female narrative?" Oh yes, because all women think exactly alike, despite all hating each other.

‘He’s got a touch of man flu,’ say the ­womenfolk and titter. But what nonsense is that? It is women who make a big fuss about mild ­discomfort, not men. Again, MASSIVE GENDER STEREOTYPING ALERT.

I have never had so much as a cold in my life, nor claimed to. I even suspect sometimes that the whole palaver about the pain of childbirth is a conspiracy to ride roughshod over men. Damn! He's onto us! Coren, when you can push a pool ball out of your urethra, we'll talk about this again.

My own mother, a ­consultant anaesthetist herself, has always claimed that giving birth was a breeze but that she pretended it had been painful to build bargaining chips with my father. Which means all women are horrid liars! Yeah, we've all been pretending childbirth was really hard so our devoted, but idiotic husbands would buy us some new shoes!

You look at shows like Loose Women and you wonder how on earth they get away with the ­terrible things they say about men. I went on once and it was horrific. I wanted to die.

No male-hosted show could treat women the way those outsized harpies treat men. I'll refer you to my thoughts on Loose Women here

I don’t especially want to throw my hat in with Dominic Raab, the slightly bonkers Tory MP who has called for an end to legislative ­discrimination against men, but there is no question that women today have it all. I'm struggling to believe this hasn't just been published for the sole purpose of winding me up.

They retire younger and live longer to such an extent that minor inequalities in pay levels are obliterated when you consider whose money pays for those 25 years of retirement. And it just isn’t fair that they are allowed to be so vile about us. Except legally, men and women retire at the same age, because of a little thing called equality. Look it up, you might like it.

I suppose, in a way, British men are like white people were in Nineties South Africa or young Germans after the Second World War.

We are expected to go through a period of atonement for the sins of our fathers. To be treated worse than we merit because of crimes previously committed in our name: in this case the crime of feeding, protecting, loving and nurturing women in accordance with our biological imperative. I swear that above you were talking about how all men had to apologise for two bigoted idiots. Now you ALL do those things for women? I tell you now, the second I let a man feed and protect me according to his biological imperative will be the same second you see four skeletal horsemen cantering over the horizon.

They don’t want that any more. They want to be linesmen. And so we have to let them tell us endlessly how they wish we were all dead. Yeah, stupid, horrid women, wanting equal rights and all that rubbish!

If that’s not off-side, I don’t know what is. I can explain it with two pepperpots and a pea, if you want?




By the way: check out this absolute victory for women's rights from Quentin Letts for more feminist lulz.

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

They ACTUALLY MADE IT WORSE.

The original Mail story to deal with this issue was covered at Atomic Spin and Angry Mob/Upon Nothing.

Background: Supreme Court issues judgement that says that a victim of emotional/psychological abuse who flees their home has not made themself 'intentionally homeless' under s.177(1) of the Housing Act 1996. The judges in this case were Lord Hope, Lord Rodger, Lord Walker, Lady Hale and Lord Brown. Lady Hale gave the leading judgement, with which Lord Hope and Lord Walker agreed, without need for further judgment. Lord Roger agreed and added his own comments, and Lord Brown dissented. This was the result of a test case, the object of which was to bring the Housing Act into accordance with the definition of 'violence' under other UK laws. The judgment in full, is here (PDF). The Mail originally reported this under the headline of "Women entitled to a council house if they move out because their partner shouts at them, top judges rule" - a story which was covered by the links at the top of the page. You might think this was bad enough. But no. Apparently, that headline and article weren't quite offensive enough for the Mail.

Instead, they're now going with the headline: "Shout at your spouse and risk losing your home: It's just the same as domestic violence, warns woman judge". No really, they are.



In the interests of comparison, here's the Mail's original story:

"The Supreme Court ruled that women whose partners shout at them persistently can claim they are effectively 'homeless' - and will be entitled to a council house. In a test case, the judges ruled that Mirhmet Yemshaw was the victim of ‘violence’ at the hands of her husband even though she was never physically attacked. Her local authority had earlier ruled that she was at low risk of being physically attacked by her partner.
 The decision could have wide-ranging implications for councils across the country. If a couple split and the ‘abused’ partner is shouted at they will potentially be entitled to be handed a new home by their local authority.
In August 2008, Mrs Yemshaw fled the flat she shared with her partner and two children - a girl aged six and a boy who was eight months old. She sought the help of the housing authorty in Hounslow, London, as she had nowhere to live.

In interviews with the housing officers Mrs Yemshaw said she was scared and complained that 'her husband hates her and (she) suspects that he is seeing another woman. '(She) is scared that if he confronts him he may hit her. (However her) husband has never actually hit her,' the judgment said.

Mrs Yemshaw complained that her partner did not give her money for housekeeping and was scared he would take the children away. She was told by officers she could not be classified as ‘homeless’ under the Housing Act as her husband had not threatened her with physical violence. A review panel found that it was reasonable for her to continue to live at the matrimonial home.

Today a panel of five justices in the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that she could be classed as 'homeless' as the shouting could be construed as 'violence'. They referred the case back to the housing authority. If a person is without a place to live then the council must give them accommodation - unless they left their previous property voluntarily.

Lady Hale, giving the lead judgment, said the definition of domestic violence must now include not only physical and threatening or intimidating behaviour but any other form of abuse which may give rise to the risk of harm.
Mrs Yemshaw had told the housing officers that her husband, who rented the property in his sole name, shouted in front of the children and did not treat her ‘like a human’.

Lady Hale said that ‘violence’ can also include ‘strength or intensity of emotion, fervour and passion’.
She said the legal understanding of domestic violence had moved on ‘from a narrow focus upon battered wives and physical contact’.

The Justice of the Supreme Court said the meaning of ‘violence’ under the 1996 Act should be brought up to date in line with modern thinking. Lady Hale added: ‘The essential question is whether an updated meaning is consistent with the statutory purpose. ‘In this case the purpose (of the Act) is to ensure that a person is not obliged to remain living in a home where she, her children or other members of her household are at risk of harm.’

Lord Rodger said he could see no reason why Parliament would have intended the position to be any different where someone will be subjected to deliberate conduct, or threats of deliberate conduct, that may cause her psychological, as opposed to physical, harm."
Again, go read the links at the top of the page for the analysis of this version of the story. 
Here's the new version:
"Men and women who shout at their partners risk being thrown out of their homes under a sweeping ruling by judges yesterday.

Raising your voice at a husband or wife, or a boyfriend or girlfriend, now counts as domestic violence under the landmark Supreme Court judgment. The decision also means that denying money to a partner or criticising them can count as violence and bring down draconian domestic violence penalties from the courts.

The Supreme Court made its decision in the case of a woman who left her husband’s council flat and then demanded a new council home. She said she left because she had suffered domestic violence – even though her husband had never harmed her.

Lady Hale, leading a bench of five justices, said the definition of violence must change so that a range of abusive behaviour now counts in law. The decision will affect domestic violence and family law which has given the courts powers to throw someone out of their home if their partner accuses them of violent behaviour. Until now violence has always had to mean physical assault.

The judges were hearing the case of Mihret Yemshaw, 35, who said she had been subjected to domestic violence and was entitled to be rehoused under the 1996 Housing Act. Officials in Hounslow, West London, turned her down after hearing that her husband had never hit her nor threatened to do so.

Mrs Yemshaw told them he had shouted in front of their two children, failed to treat her like a human, had not given her housekeeping money, and she was scared he would take the children away from her.
Lady Hale said the meaning of the word ‘violence’ had moved on since Parliament passed the Housing Act.
The word ‘is capable of bearing several meanings and applying to many different types of behaviour. These can change and develop over time’. The judge added that ‘it is not for Government and official bodies to interpret the meaning of the words which Parliament has used. That role lies with the courts.’

Lady Hale said that according to the dictionary, violence means physical attack, but can also apply to extreme fervour, passion or fury. One judge, Lord Brown, said he had a ‘profound doubt’ as to whether the domestic violence provisions were ever intended ‘to extend beyond the limits of physical violence’.
The judgment means that Mrs Yemshaw will now have her case reconsidered by Hounslow. It will also apply to a wide field of legislation, including the 1996 Family Law Act which allows people to be ejected from their homes if their partners complain of domestic violence.

The decision comes at a time of growing concern over the powers of senior judges and their willingness to alter laws made by Parliament. Family law expert Jill Kirby yesterday drew a comparison between the ruling and the Humpty Dumpty character in Lewis Carroll’s Through The Looking-Glass, who said words meant whatever he wanted them to mean. She said: ‘The judiciary are taking the Humpty Dumpty view, and it risks undermining confidence in the legal system.’

Mihret Yemshaw’s husband told the Daily Mail last night he had never been violent towards his wife who, like him, was born in Ethiopia. They married in London ten years ago. Samuel Estifanos, a 40-year-old bus driver, claimed she left the flat where he still lives because she was ‘unhappy’. He added: ‘I never hit her and I never even screamed or swore at her.’"


I have highlighted the particularly offensive parts of this article, and will now go through them.
  • "shout at their partners" - This is what Lady Hale gives as the actual definition of domestic violence: 
    “The term ‘violence’ itself is often used in two senses. In its
    narrower meaning it describes the use or threat of physical force
    against a victim in the form of an assault or battery. But in the
    context of the family, there is also a wider meaning which extends to
    abuse beyond the more typical instances of physical assaults to
    include any form of physical, sexual or psychological molestation or
    harassment which has a serious detrimental effect upon the health
    and well-being of the victim.” (at para 21 in the judgment)

  • "sweeping ruling" - The main principle of judicial precedent is that of stare decisis - i.e. like cases should be treated alike. Legally speaking, this case only has to be followed if another case arises with exactly the same facts.
  •   "denying money to a partner or criticising them can count as violence" - What actually happened:   "her husband hates her and [she] suspects that he is seeing another woman. [She] is scared that if she confronts him he may hit her. [However her] husband has never actually threatened to hit her.” She went on to complain of his shouting in front of the children, so that she retreated to her bedroom with them, not treating her “like a human”, not giving her any money for housekeeping, being scared that he would take the children away from her and say that she was not able to cope with them, and that he would hit her if she returned home." 
  • "draconian domestic violence penalties" again, stare decisis applies - this case only means that women in the same circumstances as the complainant will be eligible for council housing.
  • "demanded" - just a pretty humiliating word to toss out there when you're talking about a scared mother who has just fled her home with two children aged six years old and eight months old and nowhere else to go.
  • "even though her husband had never harmed her" - Even though the ruling accepts that he had.
  • "said the definition of violence must change so that a range of abusive behaviour now counts in law" - All Lady Hale did not change the definition of 'violence'. She merely agreed that the Act in question should use the same definition of 'violence' as other Acts do.
  • "given the courts powers to throw someone out of their home if their partner accuses them of violent behaviour" - I will only repeat this one more time. STARE DECISIS. You simply cannot just assume that because one case with limited facts has gone one way, that others, to do with completely different laws will follow!
  • "Lady Hale said that according to the dictionary, violence means physical attack, but can also apply to extreme fervour, passion or fury. One judge, Lord Brown, said he had a ‘profound doubt’ as to whether the domestic violence provisions were ever intended ‘to extend beyond the limits of physical violence’" - Yes. Lady Hale did say that, in order to give her judgment some context. Yes, Lord Brown did say that. However, Lord Brown was the only dissenting judge in the case. He was the only one to disagree - what he said means nothing to the judgment as it now stands in law.
  • " It will also apply to a wide field of legislation, including the 1996 Family Law Act which allows people to be ejected from their homes if their partners complain of domestic violence" - Honestly, now, it's like they're trying to test my patience. STARE DECISIS!!!!
  • !like him, was born in Ethiopia. They married in London ten years ago" - Yeah, and so?

All this is is another absolutely repugnant and hateful argument by the Mail, which shows their hatred for women and lack of any knowledge to do with anything that they voice an opinion on.